Going to the laundry mat is my LEAST favorite thing to do in
the world. One of the reasons is the people that hang out there and do their
laundry. Let me tell you with my extensive knowledge of laundry mats most of
them live up to the hype. The hype being people doing massive loads of
laundry. Going there makes me feel normal. I know. That’s frightening for most
of you that know me. But seriously. I feel like I am the most normal person in
that place and I kinda love it. It’s like a corralled version of Walmart.
So anyways… last Saturday we decided to each and every single
piece of Dexter’s clothes as he is going to my parents and this way my mom can
fix anything with holes and can also take things that are too small to a
consignment place. Total win in my book. Only that I have to wash all that crap
and fold it. My mom would NOT handle it if I was just throwing it in a bag
unfolded and wrinkly. So we decided to go to a new Laundromat cause it looked
kinda hip. I mean laundry mats cant be too hip but it was pretty cool. Also. It
only cost $8.50 to wash 8 loans of laundry all at once. That was enough for all
of Dexter’s clothes and all our sweats and t shirts. I was kinda excited about
washing clothes for once. The place wasn’t dingy and actually had legit TV’s
that you could watch decent cable. Josh had to go get more quarters before the
drying began and this is when it got weird.
A guy was walking around and kept checking on dryers to see
if a load was done. Like every two minutes. He would stop the laundry stick his
head in and sniff. Okay. Whatever works for you dude but usually I touch my
clothes to see if they are done being dry. He repeats this for another 20
minutes or so. He finally takes the clothes out and folds them all. Except for
his underwear. He lats those in a pile and begins to sniff the middle region,
if you catch my drift. I wish I could say it was a quick sniff but it
definitely was not. It was a full on inhale you make when there are freshly
baked cookies or a roast in the crock pot. He does this to EVERY PAIR. 10 pairs to be exact. At the end of it two of
them didn't make the cut and after another sniff and snarl look on his face the
man proceeded to throw two pairs of his dirty under wears away. Mark my words. I
will NEVER be visiting that laundry mat again.
I’ll be honest. I have definitely sniffed my CLOTHES. I see
something on the floor and don’t remember wearing it and sniff and see that it’s
clean just not put away. That’s it. I don’t do a smell check afterwards and
then determine that it is not suitable for me to wear. Here is a hint. Use
some detergent. I promise it works. ALSO don’t ever have white underwear. Just
don’t. I don’t know who ever decided that white underwear was okay but they
need to be told otherwise.
I’m glad I could etch this graphic moment in your heads. I
was good and even took notes at the laundry mat just for y'all. Happy Tuesday!
