I was working at a Daycare and was really NOT looking for someone. I had just turned 21. Living it up in the summer and rent free with my mom. Pretty much heaven on earth and I did not need a man to mess that plan up. My boss at the time insisted that I start talking to this guy she knew that happened to live in her backyard. Not like LITERALLY living in the backyard his house was just behind hers. I had nothing to lose and we exchanged phone numbers.
I should have stopped at the texting because it was AWFUL. No complete sentences. Asking me weird questions. Just being a typical man. But I felt I owed it to my boss to give it a shot. He finally asked if I would go out on a date and I agreed.
That was my first mistake.
Before the date I thought to myself. You need to put your best foot forward even if you won't marry him. So I took the time and effort and made myself all pretty. Like full on pretty. Hair. Makeup. New shirt. I wanted to at least look good even if I wasn't going to work.
I chose to meet him at his house and that was my second mistake. I walk in and there is camouflage furniture and dead animals on the wall. You could say I was a little thrown off. Also his house is under construction and a garbage can was no where in site so the obvious place for him to throw all his trash was on the kitchen floor. I wish I was kidding.
I was looking around and trying to find an escape route as he asked if I would like a Natty Light to drink. High class living I tell you. I decline and then cuss myself out in my head about how I should have just listened to my instincts and how this was a bad idea.
After an short and awkward conversation we decide on dinner down the street and head to his truck. This is where things went from bad to worse. I walk to the passenger side and he goes to the driver's side. The door was locked so I look up and his back is to the truck and I walk around the front to see what he is doing. That was a really poor choice on my part. I then witness him going to the bathroom on the front lawn. Yes. All out for the world to see. In the middle of town where lots of traffic drives by. Just whipped it out.
Oh my goodness, that sounds like my worst nightmare. I'm going to have to think about my worst date, there are so many to choose from!
ReplyDeleteOh wow! Did you even make it dinner? Fun link up!
ReplyDeleteWTF?! Did you ever tell your boss what he did?
ReplyDeleteThere are some decent men out there who would know better than to ask a woman weird questions and not even give you a complete sentence in a text.
I *might* have let the camoflauge and dead animals slide, even though it's not my style, but throwing garbage on the floor and urinating in public? Ugh!
This is hilarious. Now the dead animals and natty light would be my husband but the trash on the floor and the pissing outside is not!!
ReplyDeleteOMG!! lol this is the worst i've read so far! i don't know what i would have done..been in disbelief!
ReplyDeleteSoooo awkward. I think I would have faked sick and headed for home.
ReplyDelete